[A-Z Challenge] You are late!

Ah! Those three words are rankling my mind again. This post explains the futility of measuring your life against the scale of time.

Well, time is off essence and being late is never accepted unless you become late. As humans we have created a standard time which had nothing to do with us just as it has nothing to do with the cow. Yeah - the cow. The cow has all the time in the world to chew on one straw of grass and yet they are not able to digest it. We, on the other hand not only have to ensure the food is digested but also have to burn calories off to remain fit.

People may argue that, if things were not time-bound we wouldn't have a civilization in place. True. But who needs a civilization?

Man did not invite fire or wheel in a time-bound manner. He did it accidentally. So why not keep it like that. Let things happen accidentally else, sit and enjoy the sun like a dog does. It is so much simpler.

Then there are birds that forage for food in the early morning only to return to the nest before sun-down. Yeah they follow time. But they have 12 hours where the only useful things they do are to eat and drop bombs. Instead, we slug it out, fill in time-sheets for the work done every hour and yet return home unsatisfied on most occasions. 

The next argument is if I am comparing everything to animals and birds, how do we differentiate between them and humans?  Well, we have such big egos which tell us that we are better than the rest of the species on earth.  If we consider the vast expanse of the universe then this superiority does not amount to anything.

We believe, if nothing is time-bound there will be only chaos. Don't we already have chaos by following time? Here, I rest my case!

Of course, since we have been working in the paradigm of working on time for some centuries, I do agree reverting to a care-free, no time zone will take some time and am not putting any time limit on that. However, I do request you folks to excuse me when I am late for I do not want to measure myself against time!

PS:  This post is already late! 

P.PS: Quirks of Life starting with Y is "You are late." With getting on time being the topmost priority, most of us (at least self here) gets that message every now and then. So thought of explaining my stance once and for all.

[A-Z Challenge] K is for Kick Lifecycle

This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here. The theme for my posts is "Quirks of Life".  Getting a kick is another one of those quirks that we are used to getting in our daily life. 

A kick is what you need in the mornings to make you feel alive and kicking. Mostly a coffee can give you the required kick.  Doctors will recommend an apple for the required kick. 

At work, the morning kick starts to wane and by the time meetings kick in, another kick would be needed. The stale office coffee would suffice here. Whether it is the caffeine or the bad coffee that creates the kick is still debatable. 

As the workload increases, the next bigger kick generally comes from a cigarette stub. This kick acts as a stress reliever, idea generator and also kick starts the brain. Sometimes two cigarettes are needed. One is to relieve the stress and other to kick off the idling brain.

When the stress-levels go up too much, you kick up a fuss starting need for more kicks from the cigarette butt. Even if you want to kick the habit of smoking, the stress levels makes you want more kicks. 

At the end of the day at home, when the need for kicks is at its lowest, you need another kick to chill-off the day. You want to kick up your heels with a drink or two. 

Of course, after which you are sure you will kick like a mule. But the more you drink, the kick hits you more and instead of kicking someone else’s back, you end up kicking your own which is what you had actually needed in the morning!

Finally, when all this kick doesn't suffice you can avail the services of Kick Buttowski - The Suburban Daredevil!

PS: There were so many phrases with the word kick on it. So the whole idea was to use as many phrases as possible in the post! 

P.PS: I love this character and in the cartoon he is a daredevil who does not kick anyone's back. However, the kick lifecycle went nicely with him so I borrowed him!

[A-Z Challenge] Its G for Gravity!

Created from the dusts of the big bang - billions of years old, and still going strong, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Grrrrrrraaaaaaaaaavityyyyyy!!!!

Of all those who have preluded me, I was the only one there when the big bang happened! Although I was weak, I was still there. I am one of the forces which shaped this universe. The universe may not have come all right but we were the principal architects of it. We have moved the enormous masses around with that big bang.

I am the one of the most visible forces on earth. Numerous phenomena happen just because of me and many of them also do not occur because of me. Despite all this, humans were not aware of for major part of their history. It was that one apple that fell on a fairly intelligent fellow that made humans aware of my presence. God bless that apple and that intelligent fellow. For without them, I would still be invisible to the human race.

Not that I need any spotlight. But when evolution has worked so much to develop intelligence in human beings, it needs to be put to use in some way. That recognition was the least that they could do. 

Big bang was what I want to talk about. Ah! Those were the days. We had no knowledge of what we have to do. We just had couple of gases with us and were ordered to create a Universe out of nothing. Think about that. No requirements, no directions nothing. Only we, forces were present and these gases that moved according to our will.

Moreover, in the universe of things, I was the weakest of all and the nuclear forces were way stronger than me. But I gained strength as particles started acquiring masses and there my work began shaping the universe and you can see the result.

Right now the universe is in cruise control mode and it is going to be in this mode for sometime now. At least till the time, most of you readers are alive. For me, nothing changes. I am strong now and I can manage the things around with nuclear and electromagnetic forces.

We have become a great team. For big distances, I am in charge. As the distances reduce, other forces take over and influence the shaping of universe. During those times, I sit arm up on my chair, smiling at their work. Yep I have me place for relaxation though not exactly a chair. It exists in the minute spaces within the smaller particles where I am at the weakest.

Still we are always working. Our work is still not finished as little bits of events disturb Universe's balance and we have a job to maintain and shape it up as per the new events such as supernova, black holes, death of a star, etc. So now going back to what I do best but not before saying thanks to this not so intelligent fellow for allowing me to voice myself after billions of years of working in silence!

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.

D - Dozzzzzing Off

As babies, we were allowed to doze-off whenever we wanted. In fact we were encouraged to doze-off as much as possible by stressed out moms. Even during the initial school days, there was special time for naps allocated in the post-lunch session. As the years grew on, the right was slowly and steadily taken away from us and suddenly sleeping became an un-cool thing to do. 

However, there was a time when Prime Minister of India used to doze off during the Republic day parade. Parliament is the best place to doze off for Indian politicians. Even when sessions are on, many off them take a quite naps. Despite its usage by the high and mighty dozing off per se is not very popular with the bosses all over the world.

However, things are changing these days. The army of people fed-up with the efforts of lesser mortals asking them to stay awake is growing by the day. Already the concept of power naps is gaining ground and is looked upon as an effective stress-buster for high flying executives. 

Little do the lesser mortals know, this was one of ingenious way of legalizing napping in the office by the happy-napping people. However, it has not yet percolated to the lower levels and happy-napping people at lower levels still suffer from the ignominy of taking a small siesta after lunch.

Additionally, taking a nap is no easy achievement in itself. The art of dozing off requires considerable amount of expertise which can only be attained through sustained practice and focus over a duration of time resulting in the ability to doze off anytime anywhere. This "anytime and anywhere" concept also includes stressful situations such as exams, board meetings, buses, auto-rickshaws, trains, classrooms, etc. 

Moreover, masters of the art have the special ability to doze off standing by holding / leaning on the nearby branch of a tree or a pole. The method to doze off even while standing is only known to the sensei of this art and is exercised on very rare occasions with extreme discretion. People around would assume the master is in deep throught rather than sleeping.

Personally, as part of happy-napping people team, I am eager to see the change happen faster at the lower level as I get caught out frequently in not very comfortable situations. For me, sleep comes faster than I can imagine. Although I cannot claim to be a master of this art, my dozing senses are stronger than most of the multitude inhabiting the earth.  There was bit of bragging in there. However, if anybody needs to learn to doze off discretely, self here is happy to help. For now, I am off for my dozing senses are now activated...

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.

B.b.b.Bladder!

Day 2 of the challenge! Happy I was able to get something not so decent to write about and still remain true to my theme - "Quirks of Life"

  

Few things in the world get greater priority than a full bladder. All priorities, urgencies are kept aside for a full bladder. It is said that - nobody can stop a full bladder whose time has come. 

Yet this critical organ seldom receives any praise or any acknowledgement for the work it does. It is like the multitudes of billions working in cheap Chinese factories. This may not be true but am an Indian and like to dig in whenever I get an opportunity. It does not even get a mention in popular literature and it is mostly associated with disease or like the one who cannot be named. Bladder itself never cares about recognition. It is happy with its anonymity and content with its work.

However, the full bladder occupies a prominent place in Indian sub-consciousness. It has actually allowed Indian men to attend to the exigencies of a full bladder at a place of their choice provided they have to face a blank wall or a thick bush/shrub. Bladders are relieved from great heights like overarching bridges to display dominance over the entire city or even in front of office of the dean of college albeit under the cover of darkness.

Human beings as species need to learn to control this organ. As babies and to a large extent of the childhood, the required control is rarely there and that causes the loss of bladder control resulting in special warmth spreading through the legs. Over a period of time, the control comes in most members of the human species. However, certain members of the species have the special talent to control the bladder and stretch its muscles for extended duration. How these members go on to achieve this is still a mystery. Thankfully bladder control is not a sport in Olympics. Indian men would have still lost as a blank wall would have been enough for them to lose control and we would have one more sport where we bemoan a loss.

However, this sport is well practiced in pubs with loads of beers. Beers are said to have the ability to fill the bladder faster than any other liquid known to mankind. Pubs leverage this to create offers to lure clientele. An example is given below.

As kids, bladder had the special tendency to become full and on the verge of bursting in the dying minutes of exams. Unfortunately most kids had the same problem and there will be queues at a wrong place during the exam. Great, are those kids who bear the twin agony of full bladder and a difficult mathematics paper at the same time know fully that relieving of one would only bring the horror back in focus.

Keeping aside the beers and any possible disease, adults or kids for that matter lose their bladder control in terms of great anxiety or fear. This happens as in times of great distress, bladder which doesn’t figure in top 10 priorities for living, is left alone and the energy is directed to more important organs. Not joking. Check this link.

So leaving you now for nobody can stop a full bladder whose time has come including self. 

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.

Rumbling Thoughts

Image Courtesy

An empty coffee cup

A blank notepad

Soft purring of the machine

And the many open windows

The blinking cursor

An idle mouse

Silence of keyboard

And an unfinished poem

For the mind has gone wandering

To a land far far away

Unknown to confined brain

Mind's source of freedom

A single thought

Looping infintely

Leaving everything else

Searching for neurons

Unable to leave the thought alone

It was a single thought marathon

Leaving the unattended thoughts fuming

The brain slipped into sleep mode!

PS: Thoughts were simply rumbling without any purpose. This was just to vent them out!

So Gaya Yeh Jahan!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 31; the thirty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'Strangers in the Night'

Cab at 0030 hrs is never fun. You are alone and work will still be pending. Roads are empty with occasional bright lights from 24 hours open ATM. And when the radio sings "So gaya yeh jahan.." the cocktail of happiness and loneliness shroud you. Yet he saw today another soul from the opposite sex today. His heart did skip few beats but he was aware of the protocol that follow in such situations. You get into the cab, she pulls out a mobile and there she goes with whatsapp or gtalk or music. You again are left with the radio singing "So gaya yeh jahaan" and remain strangers in the night.

Image Courtesy

As he approached the figure, pending work on his mind was replaced with the conflict happening between unpromising hope and anticipated disappointment. She was brighter than the lights at 24-hour ATMs. The slightly higher cheek bones and the beautiful smile accentuated the brightness. He was blinded in the dim parking light. Yet when she was assigned to the same cab and when she followed him into the cab he felt hopes rising within him. "Where to?” she asked. The question evoked more than an answer. Conversation flowed. His jokes were were getting the laughs. The radio was asked to keep quiet. As the cab sped away, her head swayed in sync with the song played by wheels on the rain-made contours in the road. Yet the smiled remained and his tiredness banished to deserted island of his mind. The rains were there to add the effects for him. He could feel the creaking of his wheel of fortune that had gathered dust making an effort to move. A slight push and he knew he would get the jackpot. 

All he wanted now was a traffic jam. He know it can happen and it has happened with the blessings of rains. It was raining But it never happens when you want it. Roads were emptier than life in a dried out stream. The only thing that he had were the passing moments. Every passing moment was both an unforgettable memory and a rising fear of separation. Every single moment was precious though precious little he could do to hold on to it. 

His eyes became like prisoner’s eyes close to his escape. But she laughed as gaily as a flower that has just bloomed in first rays of sunlight. "Bhaiyya, aage side me laga do". The voice sounded the death knell for him. It was expected, yet his heart had hoped every inch against it. Few moments were all that he had. It could mark a new beginning or a make it a sweet dream. The new beginning was what he craved for. The cab stopped. She started to get down. His eyes fell on her speaking his heart out. Her smile remained steady. He did not want to leave that gaze. The gaze only disturbed by a police siren coming closer. His mind was resolute in ignoring it, for his heart yearned for the gaze. Then the words came out from her beautiful lips - "tereko nahin uthna to alarm kyon lagata hain!"

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: Shilpa Garg, Participation Count: 03

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