Mumbai - First Impressions!!

Recently I moved to Mumbai - the maximum city- - the financial capital of India, the land of bollywood, and one among the many who come in daily to realize their dreams or to make this city their home. Yet I came for neither - only for a change. But the city commands respect unlike other cities. You cannot treat it as a mistress wherein you try to simply come, enjoy and go. The city does not tolerate people flirting with it. You need to imbibe all the characters that a mumbaikar is famous for. You must be madly in love with it to be able to understand its intricacies. And then alone you can admire the beauty within. To put in perspective the city has the unenviable responsibility to support 14 mn people with people still pouring in on a daily basis. So it has set its rules which may cause one to declare that it is impossible to live. Yet when you love it madly, you will learn to live by its rules. After all there are millions living by it. Some of the rules that I have learnt so far are

1. You are never an outsider here. No matter what any political parties say - People never treat you as an outsider probably because most of them are outsiders themselves at some point of the time and they all have faced the frustrations, the push from behind in queues if you are taking time. Possibly this may be the reason why terrorists found it easier to attack it. Yet this very nature helped people during the riots, floods, and attacks itself and it has metamorphosed into the undying mumbai spirit.

2. Mumbai lives in its sub-urban trains. So many lives revolve around the sub-urban trains, that if on a fine morning, they stopped working; entire mumbai will come to a standstill. It’s the place where, so much happens yet few realize its significance. Just glancing around a compartment, one can find innumerable stories - somebody has just lost a soccer match, somebody has made money on the stock markets, a fresh graduate on his first day of job, looking nervous, a couple lost in themselves that the forget the constant jerks and push from other people, someone crying, someone smiling, someone sleeping, some catching up the daily news. There are so many different stories yet intertwined in one single compartment on a small journey. Next station comes and some stories break apart while some others join in to become part of our story for that small 10-15 mins. It’s fascinating that the entire cycle goes on and on. Yet we think our lives are different when many of us have shared so many small moments together.

3. You are never alone here. I came to Mumbai thinking of breaking this rule by renting out a single Room-Kitchen for self only. Yet city has its rules. Along with me there are a million other creatures giving me company for various activities that I thought I would have to do alone. For example, there are pigeons every morning to wake me up. Then there is almost transparent mal-nourished lizard - which can only be spotted due to its green veins - or are they its veins? Anyways I have told the lizard to keep a check on other creatures. So we are now having a symbiotic relationship. The rest of the creatures are the smaller ones, whom you can only see when they move. Fortunately there are no cockroaches. A creature even crawled out from under the keyboard of the laptop this morning. Honest.

4. The railways have also done one more thing. It has divided the city into East and West, at least the western line. (Other lines, I have not yet explored). Very few buses and almost no auto-rickshaws go between east and west. You can only bridge the divide by walking over the railway line. This ensures trains do become an integral part of your life, no matter if you don't want it to. The city is stubborn here.

5. Talking of auto-rickshaws, I have lived in 3 major cities apart from my home in ahmeadabad (it’s a mega-city after all)and rajkot which is more of a town than city.

Ahmedabad - You can negotiate anything - Mind you, the auto-guys are suave negotiators who given a chance, can negotiate and bring consensus to all the climate and trade talks happening around the world. So watch the deal you are getting.
Pune - You need to be mathematically sharp as you have to do calculations before the meter goes up by one point. After all it is being touted as the Oxford of the East, so expectations are higher. Again the basic rates differ by 1 or 2 rupee depending on the auto-guy. So you also need to be aware of both cases rates beforehand else you know what - the meter goes up.
Chennai - Auto-guys are the smartest here. They charge based on the following points:

• The distance from the current location
• The expected traffic on the route
• Are there any policemen on that route - an extra charge if
  present
• No matter what happens - the return will have to be paid by the
  current passenger, as there is risk of not getting a passenger on the way back (
  must admit an excellent Risk mitigation strategy)
• The social standing of the prospective passenger - IT guys are their
  favorite in spite of the recession
• Finally how they feel.

Based on these factors and probably others, they execute a very complex algorithm in their brains and come out with a figure within a split-second of hearing their destination. Any rupee less than that is an insult to their mind-prowess and you would get an ear-shattering round of all the reasons mentioned above. They should be bankers or leading big corporations based on the number of parameters they evaluate to come to a decision; all of-course within the split-second.

Mumbai - Simple logic - Multiply by 10 and subtract by 1. That’s it. Business people don't want to waste their time doing silly calculations. They are more interested in credits and debits. - Here mumbai scores a point over other cities :)

This list is still incomplete. There are many others. Will provide them as I explore more of this fascinating city. Do post some rules that I may have missed in the comments section.
So that’s it folks..
Mumbai rocks - You just need to learn to rock to the city's tunes!

Death of ODI - Forget it

A lot has been said about the demise of ODI due to the advent of T20. However the recent Champions League T20 has proved many pundits wrong.

The TRPs are lower than the Champions trophy. Why? Well the reason lies beyond a marketing person's perspective. People, no matter what the time constraint love to watch high quality cricket.

People don't just like seeing bowlers just getting hit out of the park on a placid pitch. They also want to see the batsmen smell the the leather. This is what is missing in T20. Catches get dropped. Mis-fields are the norm. Bowlers just bowling line and length to contain the batsmen. In fact this is one of the major reason why none of the Indian team featured in the semi-finals of Champios League T20.

People go crazy when there is zero chances of error. Even in a test match a dropped catch changes the nature of the entire test match. In ODI or in T20 it is almost a sacrilege to drop a catch. However, the IPL and the recent Champion's league just dropped the standard. At the end of the day, people never like a one-sided contest. Everybody wants a evenly contested match between the bat and the ball.

The best advertisement of cricket comes when an underdog beats the favorite under extra-ordinary circumstances. This is why people love cricket. When a country like Bangladesh with little cricket history can beat a giant like Australia. Cricket is a great-leveler; it is said. T20 tournament only accentuated this belief in the beginning when India own the T20 when the cricket pundits gave them no chance. However, in the long run, cricket like any other sport depends on getting the fundamentals right. Taking all the half-chances, adapting to the conditions, and most of all the mental strength - the belief that you can win the game under extra-ordinary odds.

This is what makes the legend and cricket has plenty of it. Cricket always had this quality much more than other sports as mental strength is a bigger asset than the physical aspect. This can clearly be demonstrated by the blows taken by Mike Artherton against Allan Donald to demoralize the entire South African outfit or Steve Waugh telling Gibbs - "You have dropped the World Cup, sonny." The legend once created lives on, in the minds of the followers and creates more followers. How can one forget Javed Miandad dancing down the wicket in front of the entire crowd at the provocations of Indina wicket-keeper - Kiran More?

See the video at here

At the end of the day, the attitude of the team on-field also makes a huge difference. A team from Trinidad & Tobago defeating mighty teams from sub-continent only on the basis of the belief of playing their brand of cricket makes cricket all the more enthralling. In spite of being an Indian, cheering a Caribbean team with all the gusto is the real salute to the Caribbean spirit - The never-say-die attitude - Bcoz that's what makes cricket a sport as any massacre can be withstood if you have it in you....

PS: Got the idea to write from here

Happy Teacher's Day!! - You were there

Image Courtesy

This is the day when we pay tribute to the teachers who have taught us throughout the year. This year i pay tribute to a teacher who has been taught me for at least last 24 odd years.

Here it goes :)

----------------------------------------

You were there

You were there...

When i wrote a, b, c, d,..

Forgetting the bar in the 't's

And the dots on the 'i'

Nudging me, reminding me

Of the hobbits of the language

You were there...

When my gujarati notebook

Was painted red like

Betel-nut chewed mouth of

My language teacher

You were there..

When the sharpest eyes could not discern

My 't's from 'f's and my '7's from '2's

When my answer papers became

My teacher's Sunday afternoon puzzles

You were there..

When i failed spectacularly in three languages

Missing the bar by 1,2,1 in each

When 3 mangoes and 5 rupees and

5 oranges and 4 rupees

Sent chills through my spine

You were there..

Solving fancy algebraic equations

Late in the night by my side

Re-learning that you learnt ages ago

To help me solve them

You were there....

Teaching the ways of living organisms,

Of amoeba, virus and bacteria,

Of xylem, phloem and photosynthesis

Of genetics, DNAs, and Mendel's laws,

Of all the matters in a frog..

You were there..

When i was lost

When i thought everything was gone

When each of my failures hit you harder

But the teacher you were,

Always kept a brave front,

Although every logical neuron of your brain

Was certain of the doom

Only so that I can gather strength

So that I can wipe my tears

To see the hidden light of hope

Happy Teacher's day!

From the student who

remains your student forever

For after all you are my mother!

Yes its my Mom who has been my teacher from the time i can remember..

This post is a tribute to her for all the thing she taught me in life. :)

PS: Forgive me for murdering English poetry

Why India should not agree on carbon emissions?

Though this post was planned as the continuation of my earlier posts, the real inspiration to write this post came on reading this article from The Economist. Some of the facts on climate change -

1. India is the fourth largest carbon emitter in the world. See link
2. That is India account for 5% of the total world carbon emission. Whereas US and China accounts for a total of 40% of the world's total emission. Adding Russia and European Union's contribution the total comes to whopping 61%.
3. If we consider the carbon emissions per head then India lies at 139th position. See link

Well this sums up the entire post. :)

All the countries especially the US, Russia and the European Union have exploited the environment without giving a thought to the environment. Even China had started growing from the 1970s period. India on the other hand has started the last in terms of sustained economic development. Thus when India starts developing, world especially developed countries wants India to curb its growth by putting cap on its emissions.

All the world literature surrounding the Copenhagen conference in December, 2009 is pushing India to a corner and making it a villain in the whole scheme of things. In this endeavor, at the forefront is the US which still has not signed the Kyoto protocol. It has come up with a declaration to cut its emission by 80% by 2050. But here it expects the world to follow suit by cutting the emissions by 50%. On the other hand countries like Russia, Japan, Canada and European Union members have agreed to cut their emissions to 15-21% below the 1990 levels. This again excludes US & China who contributes 40% of the total emissions. See link.

So the argument that India should follow suit denies opportunity to India or the other developing countries to grow.

Another bone of contention is the transfer of clean technology. Here again, the developed countries are not promising free transfer of clean technology to the developing countries. This despite the fact the current world's climate is the entire making of the western economies who ruthlessly exploited Mother Nature.

Again I do not deny that India should not cut its emission. (Check out my previous post.)India needs to cut its emission but that cannot be imposed by the world's richest countries. More Indians are aware about the impact of GHG than most people of other democracies. Additionally, India has a vibrant democracy - the nature of which it will ensure imposition of carbon-emission cuts.

Still this leaves out the current scenario. Are the developed countries pledging to help the developing countries to tackle the current problems that have arisen due to their past activities?? The answer is a big "NO". So in any case the pressure on India is completely unjust and it does looks like bullying by developed countries.

For example, most of India depends on agriculture. Any climate change will impact agriculture. So the issue of climate change will feature in every Indian’s mind. Already there is a talk of inclusive growth - inclusive meaning the climate as well and this as come from none other than India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh.

So the western countries instead putting pressure needs to first tackle US which still won't curb its emission until India agrees to cap its emission (meaning growth). In a nutshell, India does not need the western powers to tell of its responsibilities. It is fully aware of it. What they can do is help India in getting access to cleaner technologies so that would help India in preserving its and the world’s environment.

Ending the post on another old saying –

Those living in houses of glass should not throw stones at other people’s houses.

PS: - Message to US - First implement and then preach. At least members of European Union have implemented some of the decisions.

PPS: The image is for the year 2006. At present India has surpassed Japan in its emission.

Why India should cut its emissions?

The answer is very simple. India depends on mother nature far more than any other country. The dependence of India's agricultural ouput is the best example. A drought or a flood has a major impact on the amount of foodgrains that country is able to produce. Another major reason is that India is essentially started to feel the imacts of global warming already.

1. The Himalayan glaciers are shrinking at a rate of 10 to 15 metres every year. This means water shortages for about 500 mn people.See link.
2. Sea levels - As the global warming sinks in the sea levels are bound to rise. This would cause the low-lying areas to be submerged in sea. The danger can clearly be seen with the last week's high tide warning on mumbai. If high tide would have happened, many parts of Mumbai - the financial capital of india would have been under water for quite some time. See link
3. Due to very limited scientific approach to agriculture, most of the Indian farmer rely on rain for a good yield. However, with the increasing global warming, the weather pattern has become more erratic directly impacting the yield of the farm. See link
4. Finally, looking at the place where I live - Pune. A simple observation here - The winter was warmer in 2008-09 compared to the one in 2007-08. Similarly the summer was hotter than normal. There was a delay in the onset of monsoon. This resulted in water shortages and cut in daily water supply.

Sceptics can say that I am taking a sample data of one year and India most part of in its history have faced such situations. Yet, scores of studies on climate change across the world and india has come up with the same result. Global warming is for real and its impact life-threatening.

Thus it is imperative for India to look at global warming as a problem it has to solve rather than put the ownership on the international community. Ending this post on an english translation of sanskrit subhashita learned during school

"It is not wise to start building a well when a house is on fire"

PS: In my last post, I had said that India rightly has rejected caps on its emission. Why I said? More on that in my next post.

Is Obama good for India?

Don’t think so if you are looking at the kind of noise that is coming from the white house. From the time Obama was elected, this question pestered me as none of his speeces gave that away. However, now after more than seven months in office, the picture does not look good on many fronts for India. Recently US has tried to allay India's fears with Clinton's visit but those steps I think are too less and infrequent. Some of the major observations from which I could answer the question is given below.

Taxing Outsourcing
Obama – “It's a tax code that says you should pay lower taxes if you create a job in Bangalore, than if you create one in Buffalo, New York.” There is no problem if you simply plugging a loophole in your tax system. However, to associate Bangalore with the loss of jobs in the US economy is not the correct way of looking at the problem. The major issue is that the current employees have stopped adding more value to their work. Thus any business when sees that a guy can do the same work at a cheaper rate would definitely prefer the cheaper option. Another point here is that outsourcing is done to other countries as well apart from Bangalore.

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/obama-bailout-say-no-to-bangalore-yes-to-buffalo/91807-2.html

Signing of NTP
India has always opposed the signing of NTP on the grounds that NTP would take away the minimum nuclear deterrence that India needs to protect itself from China and Pakistan. However, Obama administration is trying to get India sign it more dangerously equating India with countries like North Korea, Pakistan and Iran. This is despite the clean record that India has regarding nuclear proliferation. Iran and North Korea openly defy US and go on with their nuclear armament programs. On the other hand Pakistan is already indicted of proliferating nuclear technology.

http://www.hindu.com/2009/05/07/stories/2009050755551000.htm

Kashmir Issue
India has long adopted the stand that it is a bilateral issue between India and Pakistan and there is no need for any third party to get involved in this. The visit of Jones and Hillary Clinton now do indicate an indirect pressure from US on India to resolve the Kashmir issue urgently. No issue in that. However, US cannot force a solution on India so that Pakistan is satisfied.

One major reason for such aggressive posturing is to please the Pakistani administration so that Pakistan deploys more forces on the Af-Pak border rather than on the Indo-Pak border. The situation here is ironic to say the least. US is giving millions of dollars to make Pakistan to co-operate on its war on terror. Pakistan on the other hand is gleefully accepting that, give more forces to US for manning the Af-Pak border and on the same time is putting the same money to develop terrorist camps in PoK to spread terror.

http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report_us-may-pressurise-india-to-resolve-kashmir-issue_1253283

Emission Cuts
The US lobby is trying hard to sign India for the emission cuts which India has rightfully rejected. The main reason is that the emission level of India is far below than US or China itself. India contributes only 5% of the total CO2 emissions while US and China contributes 22% and 18% respectively of the total CO2 emissions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_carbon_dioxide_emissions

For US, China is the buzzword as it is looking at China to escape from its economic turmoil as China can bankroll America’s debt. This is the main reason why for US, China is more important than India. China can ruin US without firing a single bullet. Similarly for China US is the single largest market for its cheap goods. Thus both US and China have become interdependent on each other for each other’s survival. India thus has to ensure, it doesn’t get sandwiched between the interests of these two giants. Another point to be noted is that the US for its war in Afghanistan needs Pakistan and for its economic security needs China. Thus US will always be wary of India’s interests to ensure its interests are met by China and Pakistan.


However US is trying to reduce India’s fears with the recent Hillary Clinton’s visit. We can only hope that US is really serious about its commitment towards India under the current circumstances where it is severely dependent on China and Pakistan.
http://www.hindu.com/2009/06/27/stories/2009062759961000.htm

Flipside to all this is that India, can stand up for itself and do not require US support on lot of issues that affect the world. However, we need leaders who can discern the difference between what is good for India and what is not in the long run. Can the current leaders do that? Only time will tell.

Guest Blog - An Old Man's rant

Image Source 

Finally after a long time of no-activity I have been able to pen down a post albeit with the help of an anonymous old man who was last seen trying to catch an auto-rickshaw. :)
All autos whizzed past me but none stopped as every auto had a passenger. The time’s 9.15 AM. It is the peak time for the office-goers. I used to be like them not so long ago. I myself started my office-days playing catch-up with the elusive bus that helped me reach my office on time. But if I missed that, which happened quite often, did mean an earful in the morning from my not-so benevolent boss.
Anyways as my income increased I graduated to the auto-rickshaws which is a unique breed compared to all other modes of transport. The 2-stroke engine 3 wheeler has a tendency to roll over the moment it encounters any change in centre of gravity and thus it is a little dangerous if you have the weight to alter its centre of gravity. Yet remarkably this vehicle can wriggle out from the tightest corner like a cockroach with consummate ease. Yes I call the ubiquitous 3-wheeler the cockroaches of the road. They just come out and go in out of nowhere and if you are in them, you never know the route the driver is going to take. These days they also smell like cockroaches with toxic petrol and kerosene mix fumes coming out. I don’t blame the cockroach-roadie. The government has given them incentive to do that with differential pricing on all petroleum products. However, unlike the silent cockroaches, the cockroach roadie can spew out great invectives if by chance you block their progress. The best part is when at the end of ride you are mentally and physically exhausted they ensure you get financially exhausted too. But can’t really blame them. The system mandates them to be like that, else they get slaughtered like a pig. ( No pigs were harmed when writing this )

As time passed I moved to my “Hamara Bajaj” two-wheeler; the largest selling two-wheeler of the country. As the slogan went, it was a family vehicle equally loved by my wife and children. But my children have grown and they prefer the fast cars and motorbikes to “Hamara Bajaj”. So now my “Hamara Bajaj” sits in the corner of my household gathering rust and living a retired life just like myself. But hats-off to it for giving our family some of the best moments of our life.

(Image Source)

Now in the retired life I prefer walking rather than navigate the cows, potholes, the fancy cars and bikes. However I have to take my pension from the same place where I worked for so long and they have asked me to come sharp at 9.30. Wonder when India started working on time!!Ah, yes an empty cockroach has arrived and here I go reliving the journey of my younger days...

Where have all the leaders gone??

Elections have been announced by the Election Commission of India and all the TV channels are going blah, blah over it. The parties have started looking for alliances for the election. The blame-games have begun. Allegations and counter-allegations are coming up. More skeletons will tumble out of closets as election fever starts rising with the mercury! Amongst all the hoopla surrounding the election - this is the question that is the most disturbing one. - do we have the leaders who can lead the dynamic and young India in such extra-ordinary times of economic turmoil, terrorist threats, global warming to become the superpower that Kalaam envisaged?

The so-called national-level parties have septuagenarians and octogenarians as the prime ministerial candidate. Even for the state-level the situation is not much different. Again I am not criticizing these people just because of their age. They are all good and have served the nation for so many years. But isn't it time for someone else to take over who can bring in fresh ideas and be more proactive in the biggest business of running the nation?

I have been following elections since A. B. Vajpayee first became prime minister for 13 days. Sadly since then not much has changed. The faces all have remained the same albeit most of them have grown a little older.  No new ideas. In 2004, when UPA came to power, I thought there would be some improvement. After all we had a scientist as the president, economist as a prime minister and P. Chidambaram as the finance minister. Sadly they did not do anything radical when they had their chances. I was hoping something on the lines of 1991 from Manmohan Singh but am now disappointed.

Instead, we are seeing the decades-old tradition of chronic nepotism and cronyism when it comes to announcing the candidates. They talk of reservation for women and minorities in the parliament, yet the percentage of women and minorities standing for the election is in stark contrast with the reservations principle. Again minorities are normally given the political ticket only if the constituencies have majority population of that particular community.

Wannabe American Presidents debate on the type of policies that they are going to implement to win the election. Heck, we don't even know clearly who the prime ministerial candidate will be. I don't deny that there is no mud-slinging at the opposition during the American presidential campaigns. However, in India it is the only thing that the politicians engage in. They say that we would be bored of hearing the same old promises of roti-kapda-makaan. And my guess is that we will see a new low in the mud-slinging department too with technology being used as major weapons by all the political parties concerned. When can we see somebody at least promising us of some change? Even if we consider the younger lot - they seem absolutely clueless about the whole thing? If we consider Rahul Gandhi's immature statements, the future doesn't look promising.

Finally the most disturbing part of the whole election is, even if I vote a particular party out - they can come in through coalition. This entirely defeats the purpose of elections. This has happened in Kashmir elections that were held recently. The people voted out the PDP-Congress coalition and voted for National Conference. Congress dumped PDP and joined National Congress to form a Congress-NC alliance. How can people expect democracy to work if people don’t get the change they demanded in the elections?

Parody of Pal do Pal ka Shayar...the IT way!!

This  one's a parody song of Pal do Pal ka Shayar. The song had been playing back within my mind for quite some time. So this parody just came out to stop that!! :)

 

Main pal do pal ka coder hoon

pal do pal meri debugging hai

pal do pal meri rating hai

pal do pal meri coding hai

main pal do pal ka coder hoon (2)

Mujhse pahele kitne coder aaye aur aakar chaley gaye

kuch defect chodkar laut gaye kuch naya code kar chaley gaye

woh bhi ek module ka kissa thhey main bhi ek module ka kissa hoon

kal tumse jhuda ho jaunga jo aaj tumhara hissa hoon

Main pal do pal ka coder hoon

pal do pal meri debugging hai

pal do pal meri rating hai

pal do pal meri coding hai

main pal do pal ka coder hoon

kal aur ayenge application ki khilti defects fixkarnewale 

mujhese behetar code-likhnewale tumse behetar testkarnewale

kal koi mujhko yaad karhey kyon koi mujhko yaad karhey

masroof manager mere liye kyon waqt apna barbadh kare

Main pal do pal ka coder hoon

pal do pal meri debugging hai

pal do pal meri rating hai

pal do pal meri coding hai

main pal do pal ka coder hoon

Bench Period - in Java

This is a description of life on bench in software industry compiled inJAVA language ;)

class Bench extends Life()
{
void checkMails(){

while(!bored){
Click(“SendReceive”);

}
}

void drinkCoffee(){
Go(ToCafetaria);

while(true){
drinkCoffeee();
}
}

void ForwardMails(){

ClickForward(On all the incoming Mails);
}

void chatOnCommunicator(){

Ping(“The busiest person until he starts believing that bench is heaven”);
Chat(With people on bench even if they are sitting across your cubicle);
}

void riteBlogs(){

Think(crazy stuff);
Open(Word Doc);
Write(Post in MS-Word);
// To let your manager know about that you work even when there is no work

Publish(Post);
Wait(for the Comments);
}


void askforProject throws Exception(){
try{
Beg(“Allah ke naam project de de baba”);
//In name of God,please give me project
}


catch(NoProjectException e){
Blame(“Economic slowdown”);
         }

       catch(SkillsNotMatchingException e){
StartPraying(God Save Me);
}
finally{
MadeBillable(Project Assigned);//hope soaring :)
}
}

void doSleep();
{
System.out.println(“Zzzzzz…”);
}
}

public static void main(String[] args) throws Exception{

Bench Me = new Bench();
Me.doSleep();

If(Manager==Available){

         Me.drinkCofee();//To stay awake
Me.riteBlogs();

Me.askforProject();

}else{
while(!Manager){

                                Me.checkMails();
Me.ForwardMails();
Me.chatonCommunicator(); //Improves communication skills
Me.doSleep();

}
}
}