Osama Bin Laden's Last Message

OBL’s original message given to Maacha was about 3 hours long, which Maacha interrupted twice both due to his girlfriend’s calls. Later Maacha told him OBL had put his relationships on the rocks. He could only talk to her after 24 disconnected calls and 30 begging for forgiveness messages. Wouldn’t fault her,as she doesn’t believe him when he says he is with his friends and so believing OBL and his message was just too much for her. Btw, you can get the story of the visit and other details here. Anyways, the star of this post is OBL. This is OBL’s mesage to the “Next Most Wanted Man”. On a different note, OBL should have been in IT. His diligence in adhering to process and enthusiasm in giving the KT (knowledge transition) even after he was out of the project must be commended. Now back to the business of this post - Abridged version of his message:

1. Pakistan is not safe. Try India. Kasab is still living and eating mutton biryani.
2. Don't trust Pakistani generals. We Indians had some bitter experiences and now OBL got one. Unfortunately for him it was his last one.
3. You can stay away from technology, but technology eventually finds you. (Author putting on his technical smirk.)
4. Praying to multitudes of Gods help diversify the risk. You never know which God is on leave as they do not have a habit of setting up OOO. See Indian politicians. 
5. You need to have humility. You cannot be sitting on an elephant, surrounded by crocodiles and yet expect none of the crocodiles to see you, because you are so up there. Occasionally a monkey will jump on you to send you straight into the waiting jaws even before you could say "aiyo".
6. If the requirement is for high walls, you should  always go for The Great Wall of China. You will just disappear. The trouble is then you will have hard time convincing people you are alive. 
7. Letting your  friend talk to his sweet-heart while you are playing hide and seek can be fatal.
8. Repeatedly saying "Mind it" to all the western powers and India from a recorded tape does not make you a Rajnikant. Mind it!
9. In the end, even Rajni needed a blade to split the bullet coming his way. Dammn I never shaved. (Gillete - "Are you listening? OBL can be your first posthumous brand ambassador.")
10. Trust all your n wives to babble out all your dark/dirty/intimate secrets, the moment you are dead/never-to-be-seen/any other forms of out of her life scenario.

That was it. So any takers to be the Next Most Wanted Man(MWM)? You have the KT document from the former MWM himself now. Moreover, not to mention about the Maacha’s 72 gfs to look forward to, if the plan A does not work. Other benefits include – ‘n’ number of wives, a million dollar mansion and herbal medicines (Maacha had made an earnest plea to get the last item. However, OBL was firm that he will only give it to the Next- MWM.)

Maacha called, OBL and other Bakwaas!

Couple of days back my friend - Maachi (a.k.a Maacha) pinged me up on my Gtalk. True to his gujju nature, he never calls on mobile and believes in giving missed calls and true to my pseudo-gujju nature, I also do the same. So was happy a bit that he at least has an internet connection these days.

But he was disturbed a bit. So after intense prodding he opened up and the ensuing conversation followed:

Maacha - I had a dream in which Osama appeared and said something…

Me - what?

Maacha - Yes. OBL wanted me to send some message.

Me – What did you reply?

Maacha – aama hu kyathi aayo? (how did I get involved in this?

Me – For the first time in life, even I didn’t understand how you got involved..

Maacha - He replied some virgin up there gave him my name.

Me - What? When did you send a virgin up there?

Maacha - Even I became tensed. I told I only remain friends with my gfs.Also I cannot send anybody. It is I who get sent to Bihar, Ethiopia, and all other god-forsaken places.



Me - What did OBL say?

Maacha - he says it seems one of my virgin gfs remained virgin because I refused to marry her.

Me - Dude, how many virgins you sent up there?

Maacha – According to OBL, all 72 are my former gfs.

Me (ROFL) - So you mean to say OBL’s 72 virgins are all gujjus?

Maacha - Don’t laugh. He was very angry with me as none of them were beautiful.

Me (consoling) - No Maachi. Gujju girls are beautiful and who said your gfs are not beautiful? (A true friend here! :P )



Maacha - He was also angry that none of them were from his caste. Worse still, he did not know which caste he belonged to nor his rashi.

Me - Don’t think OBL believe in caste systems.

Maacha - Well, he doesn’t but all my gujju gfs seems to have made OBL aware that he also has a caste. And they won’t marry him until him until he finds his correct caste.

Me - but why does he needs to marry them?

Maacha - My 72 gfs said that when their maasa, mausi, mama, mami, nana, nani, bhaiya, bhabhi (relatives), and all others come up there what will they say? Then OBL will have to elope and find a new hiding place. And from where he is now, he has very few left.

Me - I see. It is difficult to be the most-wanted man in both the lives.

Maacha – So now he thinks that to learn more about his caste, he needs to do some good deed which is the first step for him to discover his caste and this good deed is the message.



Me - What is it about?

Maacha - Well, it is guideline sort of thing for the Next Most Wanted Man.

Me - So why are you telling it to me?

Maacha - Dishit, I know you blog and I want you to post this.



Me - Dude - Are you crazy? Next thing I know, there will be bloody navy seals jumping out around my building, taking a head-shot and I will be dead without even a single tweet about it on twitter.

Maacha – Well if you don’t I will be blown out from Ahmedabad forever.

Me – That makes sense. Btw, this is the classic deadlock which we love to discover but not resolve. :P

Maacha – I have a solution.

Me – aaha (a small smirk appeared before it soon disappeared)

Maacha – Maanas ne olakhtha sikho. (Learn to understand a person)

Me – Always have at least in your case. But tell me about your solution.



Maacha - Osama showed me a video which he recently made up there. Poor soul he still believes he is living in the $1mn house in Pakistan. So he is sending the tape which says his message will be spread not through his followers but some innocent gujju. You are not a gujju so you are safe, the message will be spread and it will save my life from OxAMAs.

Me – I knew your solution will always be far away from any thing called logic. However, for you I will do it albeit for a small charge. Since you are a gujju and claim to not eat non-vegan food, and many other You-Know-What things, I would only ask you to give me call.

Maacha - Sure.

Me - Not missed call. (That was the maximum I ever can get out from him. I have principles of not doing anything for free. My reputation of being an pseudo-gujju will be in tatters, if I do not get any profit out of this transaction.)

Maacha - chokas! (sure)

The message - coming up in the next post! Stay tuned!


PS: To the real Maacha - after reading this do not exlclaim - aama hu kyathi aayo? :)
P.PS: All the above conversation happened in the urban version of gujarati. So any errors in translation is purely an error.
P.P.PS: No OBL was killed when writing this post.

Is Lokpal Bill enough to tackle corruption in India?

Image Source

Over the past couple of weeks, India as a nation has witnessed the powers of one determined Gandhian. Joining with him in his quest for stronger Lokpal bill, were thousands of Indians which included both netizens and citizens whom the aristocratic political class term as "Aam admi". Government or rather PM Manmohan Singh did a good job in defusing the entire agitation by giving in to the demands as any further delay would have caused a revolution leading to his government's downfall. At the heart of the issue is the Lokpal Bill aimed to fight corruption in India which was first conceived in 1969 but still waiting to be passed in the parliament.

Though I completely respect Anna Hazare's effort to bring this issue to the fore, I am more inclined to agree with Kapil Sibal's view that the bill's scope in tackling corruption is limited. The main reason is that at the end of the day, it is only a bill. And a bill like many others can only go so far in addressing the tackling corruption. Moreover, loopholes always exist in any law and most scamsters are intelligent enough to exploit these or at least drag the case till they are old and frail when it would eventually not matter. I believe a similar story would be play out with the Lokpal Bill. Of course, it can be argued this is an important step forward. No doubt on that. The point I am trying to make is corruption exists mainly due to the systemic inefficiencies and creating laws or acts can only deter corruption as much.

These systemic inefficiencies create an incentive to be corrupt. Or in other words it rewards the corrupt and punishes the honest. Thus to remove corruption, these systemic inefficiencies have to be removed which can only be achieved through better governance and not by creating more laws. One of the most proven weapons in improving governance is the use of technology. The other two weapons would be the people in the government and Aam Admi.

Technology
Yes I am in technology and technology rocks when you want transparency and accountability. System takes care of that. Many state governments have invested in technology at various fronts to improve the governance. Even the central government, has tried to implement wherever, it sees limited opposition. Examples which I am aware of are e-filings of tax return, the generation of PAN card and the most ambitious project taken up so far is UID (Unique Identification System). The most important aspect of technology is that it reduces human intervention. For example for PAN card, anyone with an internet connection can go and lookup the site for information on how to fill the form and then fill, print and post it to the concerned department. The entire process can take at most 3-4 hours which can be done from the comfort of your home. (Discounting the trip to the post office :) ). Moreover, you can track the application status online and rectify the form if needed. This has removed the need of bribing 

• someone to learn how to fill the form
  
• to track the status
• to move the application if it gets stuck anywhere.

The second example where technology can be greatly useful is ensuring traffic rules compliance. Any reason why traffic policemen encourage bribes? Some of them are given below:

• He does not have to create a receipt for the offense.
  
• He does not have to listen to the offender's defense stories and his constraints which caused him to break the rule.
  
• A traffic chaos may happen during the time he was creating a receipt and thus have to work harder.
  

So how can technology reduce corruption?  Jumping of signals, riding in the wrong lane or over-speeding can all be captured through a camera which captures the registration number and send the ticket to the offender's home. At the same time, an entry can be made against the driver's license card, to ensure tracking of the number of offense and also auto-debit the fine amount from the offender's bank or credit card account. Believe this is already implemented in some countries. Additionally, if a policeman catches an offender, he can simply swipe the driver's license card and the system will do the rest for him. Although this looks like a pipe-dream, they are inherently doable. Believe some developed countries have this system already in place.


People in the Government
Consider a clichéd government employee's job profile. He is assigned a task which he has to do for years. Only if the person above him retires or dies, does he have any chance of growth. Naturally boredom sets in and the absence of future growth makes him neglect his current duties. The only incentive for him to work is the bribes from people who want to get things done a bit quicker as there is no enforceable SLA for the government employee to work. The situation can only be improved if there is change in this culture. 
The peer pressure tactic is the best option to effect a culture change. A strong leader who can influence 10 % of his direct reports can bring about this change. By making this 10 % influence another 10 % and so on, can radically change the DNA of the government office. The change will be gradual but will be effective. Ricardo Semler's effort at Semco SA can be taken as an example for this. 
Thus if as a team, they decide to get things done within the SLA and without taking bribe, even the most lazy person would have to work. In a way it can be be looked at as an HR issue. In the end, the government needs leaders who can bring about the change in the minds of the people within departments. 


Aam Admi
How can a "Aam Admi" say no to corruption? He is under pressure virtually from everywhere. Pollution, oppressive heat, potholed laden roads, and public commute make the daily trudging to the office a bigger ordeal than it already is. Apart from this he has to work under abusive bosses, handle intrusive neighbors and demanding relatives. In all this, if a government process takes too long, he cannot afford to keep his life aside till the government process is completed. He has to complete that as well in the melee that his life is in.  Yet not taking the easier path may not make it easier to get it done. This happened to my friend who needed to get a No Objection Certificate (NoC) to transfer his bike from Mumbai to Bangalore. He chose the easier route. He called up an agent who asked him Rs. 1500 to get everything done in 3 days. Fortunately the agent failed to turn up when my friend went to get the NoC done. Out of desperation he tried to get it done the right way. Eventually he got it done within 2 days itself and the cost - Rs. 200.


Probably our demand to get it done easier is far more than the demand to get it done by the correct process. Due to this sometimes the time saved by the shortcut method may be actually time lost in the overall equation. A bit of patience and a bit of effort in understanding the process may just well be the solution to reduce the corruption. Additionally an emphatic NO can also do the trick to a large extent.

Presented some of my thoughts based on the drama that has been unfolding around LokPal for past few weeks now. Do post your valuable feedback and solutions in the comments section.

PS: Just thought of focusing on the bigger picture rather than just the Lokpal Bill. Also on a personal front too have bribed my way out quite a few times. Thats a change that I need to bring in within myself :P 

The Decade Gone By...Happy New Decade!

This is intended to be funny. So I expect lolz, rofl and all their derivatives in the comment section. Failing to do so would imply that you are hurtling through the depths of despair and darkness. ;) 

Before the decade started I was just an un-germinated seed whose aim was not to become a tree but a juicy fruit like an apple. Darn, I should have been a leaf then. I would have modified myself into a full-grown onion. I would be now priceless. Only later would I understand the repercussions of dreaming of an apple which you will too soon find out.

1.Sparkling School Days

Anyways, the decade started with a bang. A mix of improbable physics, concentrated chemistry, bilious biology and 13 girls. Yes 13 girls. That was the first time when I had to spend time in a single room with 13 girls along with 46 other guys who were more or less on the same page. Most of the 47 of us were from all-guys-and-no-girls-classes till then. The result - I learnt two important lessons.

1. You can never understand any of the three subjects. They are supposed to be mugged up. The teachers don't tell you this secret directly but to their credit they do throw ample hints like writing illegibly on the frame of the blackboard or by drawing larger-than-life size figure of a frog's digestive systems or by whispering during the lecture. 
2. The previously believed assumption that in presence of opposite-gender, you tend to score more was burnt to ashes and the urn was thrown in Sabarmati Tiver to ensure there are no future ashes contests in this regard.

2. Out to be an engineer

The first thing that they tried when I entered college was try to teach me drawing. Of course they did not say it upfront. They called it Engineering Drawing. Unfortunately they didn't know that I was incapable of any kind of drawing. Bet a third grader can still beat me in drawing. Yet they wanted me to draw something more complex and more intelligible which was simply out of scope for me. However, they never lost hope. I responded in kind, scoring an improbable 2 out of 40 in spite of drawing on both sides of the drawing sheet given to me. Might have let the sheet alone and they would have given more for cleanliness. Yet, they persevered and finally they taught me to draw straight line an incredible achievement after 12 months of training.

3. Journey in Electronics

They still hadn't given up on me. So then they tried teaching me electronics. I started enthusiastically dreaming about having a small shack with all colors bulbs creating strange sounds and radio transmitter similar to the one seen in old Hindi movies. However fate had other plans. Whenever I tried building anything, the only output I would get was an eerie silence. Now a civil engineer can see a building that he is building, a mechanical engineer can see what is going wrong. An electrical engineer would either see a smoke like that after a pope is selected indicating something went wrong or he gets electrocuted. A computer engineer gets an error message or the blue screen of death as a last resort. But for an electronics engineer, nothing. Only an eerie silence. Nothing blowing-up, no shocks as maximum voltage only go up to 5V. So I did the next best thing. I took up projects where you just need to give presentations and stayed an two arm's length from the soldering iron.

4. First job in Reliance

Despite the utter failure in engineering, Reliance somehow thought I was just an unpolished diamond and picked me up. Once there, they again started teaching me a new philosophy. They said  - 

"customer ne baatli ma utarvu aavu joiye"

That literally translates to  "learn to insert a customer into a bottle". It is more nearer to pulling a fast one on the customer to get your work done. I started working on acquiring on this skill. But instead of me putting the customer into a bottle, it was the customers who put me in hole, not once but twice by sending e-mails to Mr. Anil Ambani. :( . That was the beginning of a great friendship between us as teams from Mumbai headquarters, bosses of Gujarat state, and my boss all started asking for my well-being. So when it came to third time, instead of trying to put a customer into a bottle, I challenged the customer to put me in hole. :). After all I had Anilbhai's backing. But the next morning, my boss called me and told me - Dude, I guess you enjoy digging up a grave for yourself. But pal, why are you digging my and my boss' grave alongside yours?  Well I got the drift, and jumped ship from there.

5. In Cognizant, Chennai

Well here again they wanted to teach me. It now started getting on my nerves then. But they promised, this is different and this is JAVA. So I learnt and I learnt well. I learnt how to appreciate a good coffee, even if it comes from a dumb machine. Don't roll your eyes. The java logo always shows a hot coffee and they always talked about java beans which I took it for coffee beans. You can't blame me here. This was as good as I did anywhere before.

6. Blogging

Meanwhile I started blogging. I started with a bang by writing a java code that I learnt recently. Was big show-off then :). But soon my manager called me. It seemed he didn't like the piece code that I wrote. It was something on these lines. Eventually they decided I was not meant for writing codes, so they put me in testing. Here I had to find bottlenecks. The old bottle reared up its ugly head. However, I felt good. From all the past experiences, I knew I have never built anything. At least I can break what others have built. Things finally were falling in place for me. At least it seemed so.

7. My First Project

I had received the most challenging project that was possible. I had to work 11 hours daily on it. Coffee-breaks, tea-break and lunch-break constituted 4 hours interspersed with 3 hours at cubicle and finally a continuous stress of 4 hours of table tennis with no manager's supervision for either of the activities. The bottlenecks - Well the project had many bottlenecks that I never had to look for one. Finally after 5 stressful months, the project was scrapped ending the dream run. Yet that project is still on my resume still glittering in all its inexistent glory.

8. Pune beckoned

I moved to Pune or was I moved to Pune is still a mystery. Theoretically after mutual agreement between my manager and me, I moved to Pune - is probably the politically correct way of telling it. Unfortunately here the bottles started haunting me again. I had to find the bottlenecks. That was my mission. I went after the mission with great zeal. However, they never described the catch in finding bottlenecks. This did me in. The catch is the famous - apples to apples comparison. They told me I was comparing apples with oranges and so all the necks that I was shoving were not of any bottles. Never mind, if you did not understand the above statements. In short, it means I goofed up again. Until some days after the incident, all I could see was apples, oranges, bottles, bottleneck and bottles without bottlenecks.

9. Recession

It was the biggest conspiracy hatched up by the underworld to end my blissful project-less a.k.a no-work period. My manager told me that you are committing a big crime by sitting on a bench (an IT euphemism meaning no work) during a recession. So he sent me to the Yerawada jail (not exactly but very near to that and very similar to that) for all my past deeds. Got a new manager to report to. He was a nice guy with decent expectations from me. But then again I managed to do the improbable.

The actual completion percentage  (red worm) dropped off instead of trying to catch-up with the expected completion (blue worm). It was looking like a horrible run chase by the team batting second in a limited-overs cricket. My manager only told me one thing - Either the red worm should start looking up or your salary will start mirroring the red worm. I took the cue and I jumped ship again. :)

10. Mumbai

Mumbai is complex, exciting and unpredictable. The pot-holes and the mumbai rains share a special bonding. They both mirror each other in every way possible by just turning up when least expected. Later I realized there was one more thing that was mirroring these two things. It was the project I was mapped to. Every turn was a new pothole and sometimes it would be big pit. Its sole existence is to remind you off the pit stops in life as in F1 race. However, it would be the kind of pit, where you only realize that you are in a pit after you fall in. So here in Mumbai I fall in pits and potholes in search of the illusive necks, bottles and bottlenecks.


So now anticipating a more exciting journey ahead starting with the current pit in which I am in....Happy New Decade to you all (if you are still reading :P )

Hats off to a Very Very Special Win - courtesy Very Very Special Laxman

 

 

Sitting on an armchair, 40 years later, when another Indian from another era wins a test match for India, we will celebrate the win just as we did today. Giving high-fives and celebrating every thing Indian about the victory. Yet when the euphoria goes down, the mind will travel back in time to another day when another mortal saved the day. The memory won't remember the runs he made, but the class he show-cased and the joy of having the privilege of watching it live.

For under the toughest conditions, he answers every challenge that is thrown at him not with a sledge-hammer but with a painter's brush. Watching him bat is poetry in making. The ball like words dance of his blade in divine rhythm. He does not play cricket. But he is an artist performing on a stage. A regal performance befit only for the kings, yet it is on display for public viewing. Batting in fourth innings is tough. Ask the other ten who were in the team. Australia was like an angry dragon. Every breath smelled of the fire within. The short-ball was their occasional fire-ball whose frequency increased as the innings progressed. They were determined and disciplined. The Indian chase started like the Chemistry practicals - effervescence of CO2 (virendra sehwag) which soon died out as during the practicals. Then the grind that a test match is began.

When he came out with India 5 down which soon became 8 down, it looked another golden opportunity lost for India except for the lone hope. The hope, that if anyone can save India against the marauding Aussies, it was him and that was a big honor which hardly any batsman can boast of in this world. Australians on their part knew their adversary very well not to lower their guard. After all he had bugged them more than any other had done before. (They call him the bugger.) Yet when you look up to see him play his shot, you don't see the past. You don't see the 167 or the 281. But only the natural order of the things. That the delivered ball had a destiny and when it hit the sweet spot of the bat it was on its way to achieve its destiny. Where is our hero in this natural order of things? Well he is there, neither to smack the ball nor to dominate the bowler. He is there to help the ball achieve its destiny. He is only the Guide.

No opposition would get intimidated by his demeanor on or off the field. The silken grace, the elegance all point towards a monk-like personality. Yet this demeanor becomes an unintended deception for the opposition. Beneath the lazy elegance lies the most disciplined warrior. A warrior hardened by the many wars he has fought, the pain he suffered (was unceremoniously dropped from ODI squad) hiding everything behind his smile. A fierce warrior, who holds his ground when the ground beneath him shakes. The opposition never gave an inch, but he drove the ball like he is driving on a 6-lane expressway.

He still misses out on lot of people's all-time best eleven even though he has saved or won test matches for India against the best in the world. But he shrugs-off it just as he would to a well-directed bouncer. After all, the Indian top-5 boasts of the bests that cricket can offer to the world. You have a butcher, who rips through bowling attacks tearing them and their plans to shreds, the wall who stone-walls everything right at his toes and the little master who is the un-official God of Cricket. Yet with all these Gods in, for his class, his big smile and his tenacity, he still remains Very Very Special. Hats off to Laxman!

The Games FB Addicts Play

When I first tried out Facebook (dont remember when), the invitations and pokes overwhelmed me and I soon got tired of them. So then I just went back to the only SNS (social networking site) which was popular in India - Orkut. But thats beside the point of this post. Recently, in Jan I again revived my dead account, and now am addicted to it. Again this is not what this post is all about. :). Having observed most of my friends on it, my mind went about classifying the various traits of other fb addicts... And this is what the post is all about :) But before going further few warnings –

• The post is very long so beware
• Have a lump of jaggery with you as the post may leave a bitter taster in your mouth.
• If reading a game you think I wrote it based on your behavior, rest assured you are not alone doing that as there are others too having similar trait probably differing in its degree and lot of us play multiple games at the same time – the multi-taskers! :P

So let the games begin -

1. The Guy Gangs Game

This is one of the games that most guys play within their group. In this game, there will be one innocent protagonist, who gives a very innocent status. This status may be completely innocent or at most it may have one innocent loophole. The next important character in this game is the Devil. He would be there waiting for this chance alone and the moment this innocent status gets posted, a sarcastic comment follows. This will be followed by a like on his comment, then a hot reply, another comment and pitched war between these guys start putting all their past, present and future dirty linen on the FB domain. The game usually ends, when the protagonist accepts defeat or deletes this post. But beware deleting may produce a child post on the devil's post which would take the war to the next level.

Although gals are never far-behind in this game, but they cannot match the low-blows that happen here. It does get real dirty here. But guys are guys. They have seen worse happening to them, caused by these same devils and yet they remain each other's best buddies.

 

2. The Status Game

The game is very simple. Just ensure you post a minimum of one status every hour. This includes the sleeping time as well. The status is not important here. Only the posting is important. It is said that career is not everything, and people need to take time to smell the flowers. Well this tribe of fb addicts believes in taking this adage one step further. Truly, they are one step above most other people in the ladder of spirituality! :P. But the game doesn't end here. The guy/gal will have some dedicated set of followers who find time to comment or like it. The beauty of this game is that it never ends even if the followers get tired of it.

 

3. The Calendar Game

This tribe is here to help the other addicts. They are the Good Samaritans here. They ensure that other addicts know what time of the day it is with good morning, zzzz, had a heavy lunch kind of messages.. They also give the day it is. For example, if as an addict you forget what day it is, just see their status - it will go like 2 days to Friday, Monday morning blues, and its weekend. The only catch here, sometime you may not be able to differentiate Saturdays and Sundays. They can take this as feedback in improving their humanitarian work.

 

4. The Motivation Game

This is another form of good Samaritans here. They are the enlightened souls who would post new quotes, wisdom statements, a song to listen every day, importance of friends, relationships... get the drift. Reading this will give you enough motivation to face all problems in life. The alternative to this would be to pick up a self-help book from a bookstore which is down-right boring. Again they are here to help people see the light! :) The light is too bright for you too see any shadows till far-far away.

 

5. The Game of Intrigue

This is mostly played by guys. I don't know why but this tribe has an uncanny ability to bewilder most of the mortal world. They leave you thinking, wondering, but even if you ask for an explanation, you get another intriguing comment. And you leave it at that as now you don't want to be seen as fool twice by other addicts at large. But for each tribe there are followers who simply like them even if they don't understand. Intriguing followers!

 

6. The Knowledge Game

This game is again mostly played by guys. The objective of this game is to post very useful links related to topics such as global warming, whether the world will face double-dip recession, the latest gadgets, or on the international events. They are the people for whom tons of academicians work publishing articles in journals, writing papers, etc. Their posts can give you sleepless nights if you try to read those articles unless you share the same genes ;)

 

7. The Ideology Game

This is one of the most dangerous games. Their numbers are less at this moment. But their posts sprout the ideologies they believe in and in which they fanatically follow. Their will be followers too but most likely they may not be fanatic. The goal of this game is to convert the moderate followers into fanatics. The ideology can take many forms. It can be your organization, your work, in some case religion too. The Techie game can be considered as a subset of this game where the fb user posts statuses based on passion for a technology.

 

8. The Followers Game

This game has no protagonists. The followers of most tribes fall in this category. You can easily identify them, by seeing their comments littered over most of your friend's post. They just like things and comment. Their comments are also short two words comments like - "nice one", "good one" ,"ROFL","LOL","cool" as if they are in a hurry. But they are the poor souls, the sheep who are confused of what facebook is all about. So they go about liking and commenting on most things that published on facebook. Spare a thought for them...

 

9. The Enjoy-Simple-Things Game

This is a tribe for whom we can learn how to appreciate life. They will have statuses like "Enjoying home made daal-khichdi" or "Shopped for groceries, bought food, cooked it and now afternoon siesta", "Listening to blaring music and working today (Saturday)". By posting it on facebook, they are showing the way to live life appreciating little things which other mortals forget about it.

 

10. The Fun Game

This tribe are very serious about being on facebook. They seriously want to have fun on facebook. So they will use their wit to produce some really funny-liners, or comments etc. They will have lengthy discussions on facebook with apparently no theme in the entire discussion. Sometime the statuses are posted so as to start having fun. The discussion in all cases veer towards some topic that is not even remotely related to the status. When you read such statuses, beware of reading the comments. It may be injurious to your mental health.

 

11. The Smiling-Photo Game

Another simple game! You just have to take a snap yourself in as many ways as possible. It doesn't matter if you are alone or with other people who as well will be having a wider grin. The only catch is you need to be smiling always. The main idea is to ensure that people remember your smile disregarding everything else in the picture. I am one already signed up for this game so I recommend everyone to follow ;)

 

12. The Shared-Video Game
Believe the simplest game of all. You just share a video that was shared by someone else and thats it. You don't even have to watch it. The guy who has posted liked it and he would at least be your friend or your friend's friend. The logic goes something like this - You like you friend's choices and your friend will also like his friend's choices, which obviously means you like your friend's friend's choices. So there you go. And you share. This is to share fun so that more people like it, more people will smile after seeing that and thus what you have done is spreading smiles, which is a not a very bad thing to do.

13. The Aww-so-Cute Game

This is mostly played by gals and these gal's guy friends. The objective is to have as many awww, so cute comments and likes as possible. Mostly the subject here will be a video with a small kid, a teddy bear, teddy bear playing with kid (oops vice versa), crying kid, laughing kid, mom 'n' kid, a sad love story, a beautiful love story, etc. The main aim is to enhance the cuteness/awwness of the video, pic by having as many likes/comments possible.

 

Apart from this there are other games which most of you know which create known tribes such as the mafias, the farmers, people who check their day's future with numerous fortune-tellers( obviously one will be true and for the few unlucky ones none will be true so they will go to more fortune-tellers :D), finding the best friends based on likes and comments (the first game I talked about – the devil became the innocent guy's best friends J) , finding love story of their life from rom-coms and dreaming about it, finding most matching girl/boy-friends. And then there are some stray sheep, fuel-tank, goat, etc. and which will leave you scratching your head thinking about what to do with it. But the best happened recently when I saw a message in fb that 72% of your friends are farmers an you can be one too. Was just wondering, if so many wanted to be farmers, why are they on facebook?

 

PS: I see lot of daggers coming out, if you are still reading – you can use those in the comment section ;) Btw - no hard feelings - just plain thoughts :)

The Heart – A Tyrant

After a loooooooooong time, somehow my mind stirred and brought out something from its stables something better than rubbish ramblings….A note of thanks to all the people who did push me to write something during my hibernation….

The Heart – A Tyrant

Dodging and darting around

Through life's uncertainties

He was going head-on

Challenging life as it came on

Yes he was going fast

As fast as he dreamt of going

He was proud of that for

Very few lived their dream

Yes he enjoyed the challenge

And his sucesses

Yet sometimes his heart cried,

Dampening his soaring spirits

He ignored, yet it haunted him

For the heart remained

Always in agony, Always in pain

Howling all night till it slept

Finding a mate thought he

Would appease his heart

Another howl and a secret tear later

He dropped the idea

The hollowness rang louder

Like a virus multiplying

And spreading the pain

Until he decided to listen

Yes the heart was saying something

A whisper was enough

For he became sad and afraid

Like everyone like him

The heart needed change

A new horse to ride

A new dream to chase

A new spark to begin a new fire

Fire that burns till eternity

Fire that consumes his self

A relentless fire

Burning him and his heart to ashes

To be the ashes was his heart's wish

For only through the ashes,

The Phoenix can rise and fly

The last flight to the Creator

As for him, his challenges

His enjoyment has to go

To sow the seeds of

Still undreamt dreams

For a new spark will ignite

A new un-thought passion

A passion he never had

A passion that would consume him

For a life later, the world

May forget his name

May forget all his deeds

But remember they will

His passion and his

Soaring Phoenix!

 

PS: Found a very convenient way to post today  - Directly from MS-Word 2007! Thumbs up to Microsoft! :)

The Magic

Another long poem - only the second one though;)

With the football fever on, just can't miss out writing on it. But this time central theme is shared with another topic. So hold your breath and read on to find out which topic shares the centre stage with football.

The Magic

Image

There in the dug-out he waited

For his chance to play

On the world's biggest stage

In front of the millions

Today he wanted to play
Not for the crowds
But for his childhood love
A thousand miles away

To honor the promise

Their childhood hearts had made

For that was the last time

They saw each other

And he was sure today

That she will be watching

Just like she used to

Before that fateful day

Waiting for his run with  the ball

Enduring the rain and the sun

Only to see him dribble the ball

For this spark started their love

The coach barked - You are on

He jogged on the pitch knowing

A magic he will weave for whenever

She watched, the magic was on

The ball touched his feet

Snuggling around his feet

Like a dog snuggling around its master

Moving around him in circles

Playing with the defender he was

Yet waiting like a hunter he was

For the time was not yet right

And the magic happens only once

Then the moment came, the magic started

The defense frozen in shock

Like a breeze he went through

With ball leading its master

Looking up he saw

The only man still unfazed

But today was his day

His magic will beat him today

And he unleashed his pet

The ball rose moving away

Then curved and dipped

Leaving the unfazed stunned

And he knew it, she knew it

The magic had never scored

For though it produced the spark

It always doused the fire - their love...

 

There it is. This blog has been moving into unchartered waters for some time now. So do throw up some light on the way with your feedback. :)

On a different note, the upsets on Spain and Germany and a listless England, the world cup would miss out the attacking talent these teams have and a whole lot of goals. Hope they tighten their games and we have a great rounds of football ahead!

55 Fiction ~ 5 Micro-short stories!!

55 Fiction - Fitting a story within 55 words. Call it the micro-short story which you can fit in twitter's 140 character limit if you use the the chat language. But would not advise to do so ;) . So the blog turning a new leaf here with my first attempt at short stories.. ;)

A journey cut short…

He boarded the bus and saw a girl covered in scarf waving at him. As usual he could not remember her. The girl was still waving. He was still clueless. So he gave a smile and moved towards her. The waving became frantic. He broadened his smile. The conductor shouted – “Ladies only bus, Sir”

************************************************************************************************************

We, the people

Looking across the street, he saw a nervous group of people – all looking up. This was Mumbai and he was a cop. So approaching the crowd, he saw dimly-lit place with a screen. Moving closer he caught the glimpse of the screen – It said - To win, India need 2 runs in 2 balls.

************************************************************************************************************

The Hunter

He felt hungrier today which made him come here. Right he was. For in front of him a little ahead he saw the little creature moving. He swam towards the kill, and caught it between his teeth. Suddenly, his body was lifted up and the last thing he heard was – Mom, I got another one.

************************************************************************************************************

The Six

1 run to win. Yes he will hit the winning runs with her looking. Her darling kitten which he hated was also looking from the balcony. He had decided this will be six and nothing less. The heavy tennis ball came and he smashed it out of the colony right into her darling kitten’s face.

************************************************************************************************************

World Cup Final

The world-cup final. The tournament had gone well. But people will remember him for what he does today. But nothing was happening. Both teams were playing safe. Tackle by the man who has won the golden boot before the final. This was his moment. Slowly from his back pocket, he pulled out the Red card.

************************************************************************************************************
 
PS: With the rains coming, at least one story should have had rain as a theme. Anyways, will take it up next time :)

The beautiful game!

With the football fever on, so thought of putting some thoughts into words....

Image

The national anthem

The whistle

The passes

Running with the ball

The defense

The tackle

The foul and

The faking of the foul

The yellow card

The red card

The adamant referee

And the innocent players

The crowd

Jeering

And cheering

For every move made

The off-side trap

The free kick

The wall

The ball kissing the cross-bar

The shot saved

The goal-kick
Nervous defense

Fending off the swarming attackers

The corner

The header

The top-corner

And the goal

The ecstasy

The celebration

The shaken opposition

And the roaring crowd

The extra-time

The substitution

An all-out attempt

For the elusive goal

The hope

The despair

The frustration

Of a missed chance

The goal-keeper's smile

For a lucky break he got

The shouting coach

And finally an own goal

The brilliant footwork

The mistake

The lost chance

And finally the penalty kicks

Each shot scored

Each shot blocked

Becomes a nail driven

Into each others heart

The nervous team

The million hopes

This is it

The world stage

The striker

The kick

The goal-keeper's dive

And the goal

That was luck

Detractors would say

But only he and the goal-keeper know

It was - the beautiful game....

 

 

Rooting for Brazil as every time - love the way they make the game beautiful to watch.... :)