[A-Z Challenge] Nobody and Nowhere!

Quirks of Life starting with N is Nobody and Nowhere. This is part of April A-Z challenge details of which is present here.

The one place that I want to find is nowhere. As the years have rolled on my existence on earth, somehow many of things that belong to me have gone to nowhere. It is like a dead-end.

I can't search after that. The list of things that have reached nowhere is innumerable. It is the black hole of the earth where once things go, you can never get it. People call it carelessness, absent-mindedness and what not. But somehow, nobody understands my perspective.

Now, there is this person called Mr. Nobody. Now this guy is the super-cool guy whose primary job is to move all my things to nowhere. Somehow, I have to keep my things falling into Mr. Nobody's hands.

The magnanimity of keeping Mr. Nobody’s hands free of my things can be understood if you will know the pains that I took to unearth my things going to nowhere. Before I knew, about the presence of Mr. Nobody, the only thing that I knew was that my things were going to nowhere.

Asking everyone about my things, the answers that always came was nobody.  Finally I resigned to the fact that like dark matter there is this person called Mr. Nobody who is responsible for my things to be moved to nowhere.

I tried hard to find Mr. Nobody to ask him to put an end to this business of taking my things to nowhere without my permission. Alas! I was only able to detect the presence of Mr. Nobody and that too after Mr. Nobody has done his deed.

Now there is a different side to Mr. Nobody that I found recently. This side has pained me more than his taking away of my thing. In this side, what he does is, bring out things that I want to remain in nowhere. Not only that, he would bring such things to people from whom this was supposed to be hidden. My marksheets  teacher’s note and many other unmentionable things were brought to the notice to my parents by this uber-cool gur, Mr. Nobody. This is completely uncool. Even if he is what he is, he has to adhere to bro code.

Now this is an open request to all. If you are able to find Mr. Nobody, please bring to his attention this post so that he doesn't pain me more!

[A-Z Challenge] Monday Morning

Quirks of Life starting with M is Monday Morning and this post has arrived by mail with no return address. So please, please provide comments in the comment section as that will be monitored by today's esteemed guest. 

Hello All,

It all started with a big fat cat in a newspaper cursing me. He never went to work or worked but he ensured, all those people who went to work on Monday felt miserable about it. But from the day, he started cursing me, everybody else started it. On the other hand, all the glory has gone to Friday morning. People go to work in casuals all gay. Even if the work that they have to do on Monday or Friday is the same, people look at it more favorably.

What irks me the most is that people leave a sigh of relief when Monday gets over. That is downright insulting.  For the rest of the days, it is still better. They get the occasional crib. However, for me, the crib is eternal.

Some kind souls have tried to make me happier for people. They would run "Thanks God, it’s Monday" articles. But these articles will be more on the lines of motivational quotes, productivity tips or knowledge series. It is like consoling people about a friend's death by telling him, how good that person was. It never makes a difference. Nevertheless, I am grateful to them for doing their bit to make me a bit more cheerful to people.

With the advent of social network, the cribbing has only amplified. There are dedicated posts cursing me. Moreover, such posts will be liked and shared too. Imagine being ridiculed, insulted and bemoaned about week after week. People also fall ill just because of me. I was never conscious of my power. However, I am not a sadist. I want people to be happy just like they are on Friday mornings.

I could only come up with a sad rant here. However, people should understand my plight and at least empathize with me by not defaming me in public.

Yours Truly,

Monday Morning!!

[A-Z Challenge] Luck

This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here. The theme for my posts is "Quirks of Life".  Luck or a little bit of a nudge is one of those quirks that we sometimes need in our lives.

From the fuzzy side of the universe, where existence and nonexistence simultaneously exist, and where the line between presence or absence of concepts are blurred, ladies and gentlemen - I present to you - Luck!

Of all the happenings in the world, I am the most misunderstood. People of different religions call me differently. I might be termed as a consequence of karma or I might be kismet (destiny or fate). What very few never call me is an event. 

Human beings have been given a rational mind. Nope they have been given an unsettled mind which thinks, thinks and thinks. This makes them want to define me in myriad ways that is possible. Moreover, humans are very egoistic in nature. So even if everything points to the contrary, they still believe they have the imagination or thought process to define me. To that optimism - Ha ha!.

People go to great lengths to appease Gods so that I do them a favor. They categorize me into good luck and bad luck. However, I am only one.

I do not have any good or bad part of it. People on the other hand rarely understand this. They roll over on the ground, climb mountains, fast for days just to appease their Gods.

According to them, God then will command me to do something in their favor. Little do they understand that God does not have a part to play in this. I happen by chance and by the natural order of the world. 

Many sports-persons have their good luck charms. Let me tell you, they never work. It is just that they gain confidence by having those charms and whatever the magic they do on the field is due to that confidence. I am just a mute spectator. 

However, I must appreciate  the mathematicians of the world. They have come very close in their definition of me. They have termed me as a random event independent of other events. 

I like that because it is very similar to me. However, if you come from the world which I inhabit, you would find many of us are like that only. So although you may never be invited to my world, I definitely can share my thoughts on my friends if I am invited again here. For now, adios!

PS: Although Mr. Luck has talked a lot about his being impartial and being part of the natural order of things, I myself need loads of luck and would continue to keep my fingers crossed for all critical events of my life including on winning this challenge!

[A-Z Challenge] K is for Kick Lifecycle

This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here. The theme for my posts is "Quirks of Life".  Getting a kick is another one of those quirks that we are used to getting in our daily life. 

A kick is what you need in the mornings to make you feel alive and kicking. Mostly a coffee can give you the required kick.  Doctors will recommend an apple for the required kick. 

At work, the morning kick starts to wane and by the time meetings kick in, another kick would be needed. The stale office coffee would suffice here. Whether it is the caffeine or the bad coffee that creates the kick is still debatable. 

As the workload increases, the next bigger kick generally comes from a cigarette stub. This kick acts as a stress reliever, idea generator and also kick starts the brain. Sometimes two cigarettes are needed. One is to relieve the stress and other to kick off the idling brain.

When the stress-levels go up too much, you kick up a fuss starting need for more kicks from the cigarette butt. Even if you want to kick the habit of smoking, the stress levels makes you want more kicks. 

At the end of the day at home, when the need for kicks is at its lowest, you need another kick to chill-off the day. You want to kick up your heels with a drink or two. 

Of course, after which you are sure you will kick like a mule. But the more you drink, the kick hits you more and instead of kicking someone else’s back, you end up kicking your own which is what you had actually needed in the morning!

Finally, when all this kick doesn't suffice you can avail the services of Kick Buttowski - The Suburban Daredevil!

PS: There were so many phrases with the word kick on it. So the whole idea was to use as many phrases as possible in the post! 

P.PS: I love this character and in the cartoon he is a daredevil who does not kick anyone's back. However, the kick lifecycle went nicely with him so I borrowed him!

[A-Z Challenge] Jabber

From the time we are born, we begin jabbering.  As adults, this jabbering continues albeit in a more refined manner. Words are more coherent and there are actual sentences. However, the content would still be missing. Yet for most of us this jabbering is a  stress-buster and love to do it all the time. 

Some of us have taken this habit to the next level. They have the special ability to go on with this jabbering for days together. If the listener gets tired  of  the jabber, they change the listener. But they do not stop jabbering. 

However, this jabbering is what separates men from monkeys. It also has a very important part to play in the development of human civilization. Unless the first inventor jabbered about his invention, we would still be hunters and food gatherers.

Moreover imagine, standing and looking around for whole day like the dinosaurs before us did. Poor souls could not even scream and run when they saw the asteroid come. On the other hand, we are already jabbering away to glory about the impact of asteroid on human civilizations. We also have calculated the precise size of asteroid needed to wipe us away from the face of the earth. So jabbering  is very important for the protection of human species. 

Then there is jabbering by the leaders of the world who by their supreme ability to jabber better than the rest of the folks could stake claim to the seats of power. Exceptions are there in the world and currently Indian leader does fall in this category. Yet so many policy decisions like going to war, or sometimes simply to poke other leaders, these leaders jabber away for the heck off it. They know power does not flow from the barrel of the gun but from their own throats. 

Additionally, there are spiritual jabbers of every religion and every sect. They come and jabber away endlessly rehashing the same things again and again until what they remain simply a jabber. Yet the multitudes of followers listen intently to this jabber hoping against all logic of the world that this particular jabber would take away their pains away.

Finally, there are people who jabber away on the keyboards of their laptop like self here for no reason in the world. They are the insane lot for despite a hectic life like everybody else they jabber away without any hope of gain of any manner. They are the people who have truly achieved oneness with their self and the universe around them and are content with themselves!

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here. The theme for my posts is "Quirks of Life".  I have fallen a bit behind here but going full steam to get back the lost ground!

[A-Z Challenge] Idea

A germ it is

Growing in anonymity

Forever irritating

Until acknowledged

A thought it becomes

Once acknowledged

Yet it sits waiting

Awaiting action

So many peers

All awaiting action

For action on an idea, 

Seldom the idea sees

Big or small 

It can be

Foolish or clever 

It can be

Known or unknown

It can be

But it was born

For the mind created it

Yet many die 

In anonymity

For reasons not

In their hands

Yet they come up

Like frogs after rain

For mind is never quiet

Churning idea after idea

Yet the longing

To be acted upon

Is its only desire

For it is its destiny

[A-Z Challenge] HORN OK PLEASE

Very few statements can impact the psyche of a nation as much as the above statement has done! This innocuous statement can be seen behind trucks in India. Unfortunately the statement has become ingrained in every Indian driver. We, Indians have taken this to our heart and probably to our grave. 

One can see its consequences in the consistent honking that can be seen on the roads. Maybe from the time we are kids we are so used to see this message behind every truck that we are following that we simply believe it is true. It has resulted in making Indian cities the noisiest during peak hours.

I did search for the origin of the expression with the only supercomputer that we have - Google. But like the computer which on running for years came up with 42, Google too came up with some answers that kids in car going behind a truck can dream off.  So as I put my helmet on yet another time, to listen to music which only Indian roads can offer, my grey matter started distinguishing the genre of honking.

• Bully Honkers - Heavy Metal is the genre. To increase the beats or the volume, one needs to drive right in front of them slowly. :)
• Daredevil Honkers - The score will be that of Gonna Fly now in the movie Rocky. These are people going to war and more the traffic, the score will rise and rise till eternity.
• Government Honkers - Siren on. Since we cannot oppose them as it will be taken as sedition, the other alternative is to let them pass and then give full throttle immediately after they leave. A diminishing siring is far better music than an approaching one.
• Polite Honkers - It is like the music composed by kids. Random set of keys pressed at random intervals of time. They honky only when the others put them in trouble for no fault of theirs

There I have reached home and now my grey matter can go on thinking about important matters such as food and cricket!

[A-Z Challenge] Its G for Gravity!

Created from the dusts of the big bang - billions of years old, and still going strong, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Grrrrrrraaaaaaaaaavityyyyyy!!!!

Of all those who have preluded me, I was the only one there when the big bang happened! Although I was weak, I was still there. I am one of the forces which shaped this universe. The universe may not have come all right but we were the principal architects of it. We have moved the enormous masses around with that big bang.

I am the one of the most visible forces on earth. Numerous phenomena happen just because of me and many of them also do not occur because of me. Despite all this, humans were not aware of for major part of their history. It was that one apple that fell on a fairly intelligent fellow that made humans aware of my presence. God bless that apple and that intelligent fellow. For without them, I would still be invisible to the human race.

Not that I need any spotlight. But when evolution has worked so much to develop intelligence in human beings, it needs to be put to use in some way. That recognition was the least that they could do. 

Big bang was what I want to talk about. Ah! Those were the days. We had no knowledge of what we have to do. We just had couple of gases with us and were ordered to create a Universe out of nothing. Think about that. No requirements, no directions nothing. Only we, forces were present and these gases that moved according to our will.

Moreover, in the universe of things, I was the weakest of all and the nuclear forces were way stronger than me. But I gained strength as particles started acquiring masses and there my work began shaping the universe and you can see the result.

Right now the universe is in cruise control mode and it is going to be in this mode for sometime now. At least till the time, most of you readers are alive. For me, nothing changes. I am strong now and I can manage the things around with nuclear and electromagnetic forces.

We have become a great team. For big distances, I am in charge. As the distances reduce, other forces take over and influence the shaping of universe. During those times, I sit arm up on my chair, smiling at their work. Yep I have me place for relaxation though not exactly a chair. It exists in the minute spaces within the smaller particles where I am at the weakest.

Still we are always working. Our work is still not finished as little bits of events disturb Universe's balance and we have a job to maintain and shape it up as per the new events such as supernova, black holes, death of a star, etc. So now going back to what I do best but not before saying thanks to this not so intelligent fellow for allowing me to voice myself after billions of years of working in silence!

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.

[A-Z Challenge] Flabbergast I am!

Shock and Awe
Are my methods
Silently but Swiftly
I approach

Always an uninvited guest
I am; Emotions -
Happiness or sadness
Follow me

In the family of
Surprise I belong
Flabby and gast
My old ancestors

Astound, dumbfound
My good friends
Routine, and Orthodox,
My not so good friends

Spicing up a day
I like
Disorient too
I sometimes do

Elation or despair
I might cause
Screaming or speechless people
I leave behind

In stunning situations
Employed I am
In the daily rut
Idle I am

Yet unsurprisingly I am
Surprise of the highest order
For I am
Flabbergast!

The word was screaming in my head. Or maybe I love this word. Maybe I loved saying "flabbergasted". I do not know the exact reason but in the end flabbergast it was! Or simply it was  to flabbergast my readers!

With this I complete first week of the challenge. A challenge which has consumed me but every post leaving me exhilarated in the end! Hopefully I can keep this on till 30th of the month.

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.

Electron E

The negative charged particle that revolves around the nucleus of an atom present in all the matters of the world. From a mass perspective it is 1/1836 the mass of proton. In layman terms, it is negligible and ideally its existence should not impact our daily existence. However, it was my nemesis in my college days. 

I was studying to become an "Electron"ics engineer and it all started from the name itself. This particle of negligible mass had behavior more erratic than that of a 4 year old. Our objective was not only to understand the behavior of this particle but also to make it work according to our commands. 

To put things in perspective this is not like training a dog where you give a set of commands and with daily practice it starts to behave as per your needs. Here the electron will only follow the laws of physics. Unfortunately, the laws of physics although universal in nature have been interpreted very badly by mankind. 

To illustrate here, the scientist community of the mankind species would first make all assumptions creating an ideal scenario which in the real world will never exist. This would make understanding very easy and the equation might look something like - V = IR. This is akin to saying why apple fell on Newton's head. 

However, assumptions have to be removed now to reflect the real world. Now these assumptions are like 100 cars driven by crazy drivers going in different directions. What scientist initially had imagined by removing the assumptions was a straight road with only 1 car on it. So now slowly they will add a car one by one and start modifying the equation. Thus by the time, the 100th car is added and the road condition is also taken into consideration, it is chaos. 

The equation will look something like this - 

Now in all this discussion we have lost the electron. This is what happened during my college days. By the time, I came around to get the hint on the behavior of the electron, it would be lost. It has ample spaces to go. It will go disappear in one of the silicon holes on P-N junction diode or may decide to revolve around its own orbit. Till here it was still understandable. 

My nemesis are the smaller spheres here

However, fellow scientists invented transistors. Now the playing field of the electron just got bigger. They also invented host of other devices to supposedly make electron work with human whims such as capacitors and inductors. Suddenly this electron became elusive darting in and out of different components. The only detectors for me were the ammeters and voltmeters which would spike during random intervals of time showing me the glimpses of electron. Ok this is not the Higgs Boson - the God Particle. But for me it was simply God. 

So many of my projects have been burnt at the altar of this God. Praying was useless. What it needed was ambient voltage, current and sufficient number of devices to play around. The only way to know the ambient voltage and current was to solve those horrible equations which were already circling my mind. 

So the only other alternative was to goad it to move in the way I want to. After many such goading sometimes it finally gives in and works to our delight. Then we run to our college professors to show-case our invention (yep in terms of running we were like the Archimedes with clothes on). Those hard-nosed skeptical guys will slowly move from their chairs as if to indicate was we have only built a paper plane and not like the invention that we imagined. 

Now when the skeptical guys finally come around the electron will behave exactly in the opposite way. All the goading that had happened before will go in vain. Unperturbed we will again begin the goading with a zeal that can make Gods answer any wish that we would ask for. But our electron will simply not move. 

The skeptics will look at all this drama with a bemused smile and after a while walk away with an air of sadist satisfaction that only they can bestow. A faint realization will dawn on the faces of the inventors telling them the futility of pursuing electronics for the rest of the lives.

PS: This is part of the April A-Z Challenge where a post has to be posted every day in the month of April except on Sundays. The details are present here.